It Must Have Been the Rain
by Alexandria Jaganshi
Summary: Cho Gonou, the name of a murderer, the name of a sinner. What were his thoughts... as he slaughtered one innocent after another... leaving trail of death in his wake? Did he even felt regret back then, as the blood tainted his hand and his soul?


**Disclaimer: I do not own saiyuki nor do I own Cho Hakkai despite how much I wished. (grumbling: Darn faulty magic lamp…)**

**Alright, this is my first venture on an angst fanfic, I made this on a request from one of my friends, she wanted to compare it with some other fics…**

**A/N: This story is from Hakkai's POV**

So far it has been a normal day for me. The students were behaving well. I walked through the town with a smile on my face, not noticing the oddness around me, heading to the house my love and I share.

But, as I opened the door, I was greeted by a horrifying scene. The entire house was ransacked, chairs lay broken on the ground, pieces of glass littered the floor, and the wooden table was smashed. But, that wasn't what made me stop. It was Kanan.. or rather… her absence.

I ran outside and found the town's men conversing, the same look of pain plastered on their face.

"We couldn't do anything…"

"…gone…"

"..youkais abducted them…."

"…we'll be killed…"

"…Gyumaoh…"

I only heard pieces of what they had said, but from what I gathered, my precious Kanan was gone, taken by the centipede demon king for his own pleasures.

I was angry, sad, confused, and all I wanted to do was to save her, to save my beautiful Kanan.

Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself in the middle of a scene similar to that of a war. Bodies littered the ground, deep gashes on them, blood pooled in the ground, flowing freely from the corpses of the dead Youkais, the Youkais I murdered.

Yet… I felt no regret… I felt… a twisted sense of satisfaction.

I looked at my hand, which were covered with crimson blood, the blood of the people I killed, be it innocent or guilty, I didn't care, I slain them all, men, women, even children, youkai or human…I didn't care.

I gazed at the deep red color of the blood of my victims that had stained my hands, the beautiful crimson color, like that of a blooming rose.

I heard their pleas, but I take no heed of them, for anything and anyone else did not matter, the only thing that mattered was saving Kanan.

I heard a whimper to my right and found myself looking at demoness, cowering in a corner. I approached her, my eyes filled with lust for blood, she is of the demon king's tribe, the one who had taken my sweet Kanan.

"Please… Please, spare me… please…" she pleaded pathetically, trying to hide herself from view.

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as I cut her throat open with one swift movement of my knife.

I gazed at her corpse, her mouth was open in a silent scream, and her face was quickly loosing color with every drop of blood that left her vein.

I strode to Hyakuganmaoh's castle, swiftly killing every single youkai in my way by targeting their vital organs, or slicing their heads clean off.

I walked along, leaving a trail of bodies and blood in my wake.

One guard tried to foolishly attack me from above, it failed… naturally. I watched, my face not betraying a single emotion, as his head rolled to the far corner of the room.

I felt a warm substance trickling down my face and for the first time tasted blood as a few drops entered my parted lips. It tasted sweet and warm in my mouth.

I explored the castle, searching every nook and cranny for any sign of Kanan. I finally found her as I entered the dungeons.

"Kannan? Kannan!"

"Gonou?" Her melodious voice reached my ear.

"Kannan!" I said as I ran at her, I grasped the bars of her cell with my bloodstained hand. "Don't worry. I'll get you out of there, I promise."

But she did not budge. She just sat there in the cold stone floor and gazed at me with tearful eyes. She held the knife I previously wield close to her, I didn't even realize she had taken it.

"Gonou…Gonou, listen. That monster's child… is inside me…" She said as tears escaped her eyes and run down her cheeks.

I wanted to rush to her, to comfort her, to tell her it was okay, to tell her we could make it work…

"Goodbye… Gonou…" She said as she raised the knife and pointed it at her left breast, right where her heart is.

My heart stopped beating for a second, time stood still, as I watched the knife pierced her flesh, as I watched her body fall to the ground, as I watched her blood stain her dress, caressing her skin and slowly forming a puddle of ruby around her body.

At that moment, the blood that stained my hands no longer looked beautiful, they looked disgusting, and the sweet taste of blood turned bitter I my mouth.

I snapped out of my bloodlust as I saw her paling form lying limply in the ground. Every life I took weighed down on my soul, as I realized the extent of my uncontrolled rage, as I realized the massacre that I had done. All for one woman, the woman that I loved, the woman that died at the end of a blade that had killed so many, the woman that I couldn't save.

I howled her name in anguish and tried to reach her corpse through the iron bar. All I did… it was all for nothing…I couldn't save her after all…

Tears flowed down my cheek, mixing with the blood of innocents, as I wept for my deceased love, for the lives I so unwittingly took, and for myself.

Then I woke up with a start.

I was drenched with sweat from head to toe. I brought a hand to my face and was relieved to find no traces of crimson on it.

It was only a nightmare… but… why now… why when I was beginning to finally put it behind me….

I looked up the window and saw that the rain was beating down heavily.

'It must've been the rain…' I thought to myself.

It must have been the rain…

**When my friend told me to write an angst story I immediately thought of Hakkai, I mean, he has such a sad past…(for the record, I'm a big Hakkai fan…) Unfortunately I didn't know the exact detail so please forgive me for any mistakes I might have made.**

**So? What do you think? D'you like it? D'you hate it? Please tell me. This is my first try on angst and I want to know if I got it right…**

**Onegai! Please review!!!!**

**AJ**

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